This is a topic that tends to trigger many and also be one of the biggest components of why some manifestations that are most desired~don't come into fruition.
The saying "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison waiting for the other person to die"
"Forgiving sets you free not giving the "Ok" on what the other person did in your eyes"
OR something along those lines~ STILL can leave a person quite confused as those are more, to me, "Etheric and fluffy" sounding than practical & applicable advice. Although well intended~
I'm going to break it down with a few stories
Here's a bit of story that may help:
There was a woman married to a man and from her point of view, it was quite abusive~ there was complaining of several maltreatments on her end and the man had his side of the story as well (I'll save details for time sake) now fast forward several years~the man had moved on~forgave himself, in a new relationship and when he heard about that woman he didn't think or torment himself of anything negative~he asked how she was and hoped all was well.
(this is all coming from a girl that told me about this~her parents)
While on the other side (the girl's mother) anytime the father was brought up she would ask immediately if he was still being "x,y,z" with the energy in her voice of hoping it was true to justify why she could still remain mad at him~the woman had moved onto another relationship too but STILL chose to remain in that un-forgiveness state, therefore inadvertently treating her new husband like she couldn't trust him. Then the day came where the father had passed away and when the girl went to eventually tell the mother what had happened she first asked her mother "What would happen if he died, would you finally let it go? What does it take for you to forgive?" The mother said" I don't know, I guess I would let it be done then" The girl told her mother and she fell silent for a while and then they resolved their conversation.
This is a good example of how it really doesn't make the other person "pay" for their perceived mess-up. It certainly doesn't make the person not forgiving or another words letting go of the attachment to a scenario or person, feel better.
What energetically can happen is this:
Not forgiving someone or energetically letting it go. All it does is add that specific vibration into YOUR field of existence. as in your body and the soul essence that surrounds your body, THEREFORE, not only bringing your energy down but also inviting yet ANOTHER situation..not always in the same story form but the essence of it back into your physical experience.
The reason it's a dense energy or low on the vibrational chart is because yes, it has it's own vibration to it but also because generally there are other emotions attached to it as well such as fear, rejection,revenge, betrayal, rage, anger, sadness or something of the like. These energies can not only bring the whole body's health down but can eventually turn into physical ailments.
A list of some reasons why some justify not forgiving:
>>If they don't forgive~ then they can have a sense of power over the other or they are better than the other person. They have something to hold over the head of the other.
That sense of "power" is fear based, that if that gets taken away, then may be the "weaker or one that is too vulnerable" The energy of fear only weakens a persons system energetically and sometimes quite a lot. The energy of love and forgiveness is the energy that will ultimately strengthen.
>>Addiction to drama~ many people are addicted to drama..Below I will source a page that will do all the explaining.
Copy and paste:
>> Forgiving one person means betraying another person.
In not forgiving one person because of another persons wishes, you are not honoring your OWN authenticity and plus, all that does is invite that dense energy into your own field. By entraining to someone else's vibration (their felt emotional state) you can more easily attract the essence of that situation into your own life. Let others write their own story and you can still be a wonderful person~that doesn't have a subscription to that 'story'
~YOU CAN'T BE SAD ENOUGH TO TAKE AWAY SOMEONE ELSE'S SADNESS~
>> Guilt is a BIG one for not forgiving of self
You can't be guilty, ashamed, self hating enough~to go back in time and fix what happened. Do your best to learn and move on making new decisions with a what you perceive as a healthier approach. Plus, if the other person is feeling into your energy about a certain situation..you can make matters worse by not only keeping the low vibe connection alive but not really allowing the energy of freedom and love to come into it's full capacity therefore thinking and acting more clearly and from a 'solid' place.
>> Not forgiving means you don't forget which therefore gives a sense of protection
For all the reasons I mentioned above (how it attracts more of that situations energy) plus the less you allow peace and love the less you are in flow and can feel MORE stuck and brings you down.
Here's a mini story~ One girl got cheated on (of course this goes both ways) by her husband...she then got a divorce and moved on eventually, thinking she could just move on and not go through a letting go and forgiveness as it was somewhat on a subconscious level. That subconscious, now said that she should be careful to watch and monitor her new boyfriend with little to no trust. Everything else in their relationship was great except when they were separate
she would demand that he show her where he was on the phone-camera or every detail about his where-abouts and when they were out, she would accuse him of looking at other girls. He was a really good, faithful guy and loved and wanted to be with her but eventually had to cut the relationship loose because the closer she got, the more paranoid she got that she would be betrayed again.
In this case, as you can see, because of not forgiving and letting go of the first person's behavior, she inadvertently made some one else 'pay' for it. Even when the new man was true to her, she still FELT like she was being cheated on. Still keeping the previous vibration in her system. Otherwise they could have had a much better relationship.
>> It keeps you in connection to the other person. Meaning that if you can just show the other how shitty of a person you are, then they will return and be with you again.
This can be quite counter productive and somewhat manipulative. (although most do not really intend manipulation but that's the energy) This not only can suffocate the other person's energy field (by constantly thinking of them or finding some attachments..fear from thinking you're losing them) It's better to forgive yourself and love them anyway allowing them the freedom to choose you also allowing them more room to breath and possibly consider. When you see yourself in a healthy and whole light, that gives others the opportunity to view you that way too.
>> Ok now for the BIGGY~REVENGE!
This one is one that really gets a lot of people. That if they forgive then the other person (or group of people) then they can't monitor when "They get theirs!" Having a complete sense of false understanding that the other person won't somehow get the same thing happen to them, hurting them just as bad as they hurt.
NO ONE CAN EVER HURT LIKE YOU~ FOR THE SIMPLE AND LASTING REASON THAT THEY ARE NOT YOU. YOU BEING VENGEFUL TO ANOTHER WILL NEVER BE TRULY JUSTIFIED. THAT OTHER PERSON IS NOT OBLIGATED TO FEEL BAD FOR ANYTHING THEY HAVE DONE AT ALL LET ALONE FOR A PERIOD OF TIME.
Besides you are not the judge of them, THEY are. Just like they are not the judge of you, YOU are.
By now you can see many ways to understand and hopefully intesgrate that holding onto a grudge/not forgiving hurts YOU and your life's journey~the most.
Now for a little exercise to get you started on the detaching unhealthy energetic cords between you and others.
Breath deep~ from your head down to your toes. 3 times and now picture a cord of love connecting you to the center of a loving earth~grounding you further. Helps you feel safe.
Picture you and the other~ or if that's too much right now...put another thing that represents that person in front of you and send a cloud of pink Love between you two (picture whatever represents love to you..like hearts or doves or even a golden cloud)~and when you are ready~to that person..this session may take a few times~listen to your body. (This really helps if you're in nature but will work with intention where ever you are, nature naturally grounds the human system.)
As mentioned earlier, if you are having a hell of a time manifesting or keeping your vibes 'high' on a consistency, then this may be the reason. You may not think of "forgiveness" right away but if some of the lower vibes or beliefs and patterns are not lining up with what you are truly desiring with your heart, then this may be the reason why "forgiveness" and can fix it so your dreams for your highest good can easier manifest into your physical reality.
If you are having a hard time talking to someone about some of what I write. Then you can show them this blog~ to help them. I tend to get straight to the point and can be an easier gateway to a healthy conversation as I know many of these subjects are not easy to communicate and they will take what they are interested in receiving, after that then let it go. You can only help others to the ability that they will allow you to.
With appreciation & Love
A few more ways to bring emotions to the surface are:
Essential oils are great for this! If you are planning to do your best to experience and then release a certain emotion that doesn't work for you anymore~for example sadness, maybe you're having a hard time with grief and wish to release it in an healthy way or at least get it started to come up and out of your energy field, might try using oils such as Rose, Cedar, Patchouli, Pine, Ylang Ylang. Can use these either in a diffuser in your home or can put a few drops on a tissue and smell it by breathing in deep breaths and on the out breath allowing the emotions to go with the breath and breath in deep again allowing forgiveness, love and peace to fill you up. You'll have to look up other essential oils to use, there's plenty of sites offering advice. Use your intuition on the best one.
There's plenty of essential blended aromas for incense too. For the same reason as above. Can be used to help relax and diffuse your guard and allow you to release and heal. I personally feel comforted with the scents of Campfire, Pine and Vanilla. I have pine and vanilla essential oil infused candles and Campfire incense ( I use Juniper Ridge ~Pinon or Cedar, for those of you who live out of the country or can't find it near you..
I also Smudge my house and all around me with Sage or Paulo Santo everyday. I find they do a great job neutralizing energy. When I do the smudging~ I call in the vibrations I DO wish to have around me: Love, Peace, Prosperity, Joy, Goofiness etc. Is another way to keep your environment and self clear of others energy and then maybe don't even need to clear yourself of low vibe emotions as much after all as maybe you picked up others sad or angry etc, thoughts, emotions.. I find it's best to clear myself first before claiming something (thoughts, emotions intentions) as mine. Might be someone that is by me or I have a soul connection with at the time, or energy of the area you're currently in. (the accumulation of people's dominating vibes coming together) If you know you are more of an empathic person~this tip of advice can come in handy daily.
There's way too many to write them all down but like the essential oils, there's plenty of sites sharing information about the metaphysical properties of each stone. I can feel the energy of stones but not like the strong vibration raising energy of Moldavite. I keep 6 stones of Moldavite on me at all times. It's not for everyone though, not at first at least. Just start with one and allow your body to acclimate to their strong energy. A few popular ones known and easy to get are Crystal quartz, Rose Quartz, Citrine, Jasper, Amber, Tigers eye, black onyx...
Also look to see if the stone needs to be cleansed of energy it soaks up. I cleanse mine with the sun or sage. There's plenty of youtube videos that can show you how to do that. Some use the moon but for some reason that doesn't resonate with me. Do what feels right in your body. Your body will tell you when you ask it from a healthy standpoint, meaning not when you're hungry, tired, on drugs/alcohol, sad, upset...just when you feel fairly neutral.
You're body has many more reflexology maps than just your feet and hands. There's reflexology for tongue, face, back, and scalp.
Everyday when you touch your body either scrubbing it with organic soap (please consider not putting products on your skin that have too many harsh dyes and synthetic fragrances, your pores absorb it into your body)
Or by dry brushing ( I do this everyday..it's an Ayervedic practice you can look up) Or by putting oils or organic lotions/creams on your skin..if you say you can't because you have oily skin..there's products that can help with that. Sometimes the body produces more oils because your using too drying of soap or over exfoliating. When you're touching your body and massaging the muscles slightly notice what you feel, tightness? Chronic soreness in one area? Do emotions come to the surface? Ask your body to please show you what is best to come to the surface to be released either then or later on at night when you return home again. If you are following my blog then you know that I have already discussed how the body harbors emotions for every impactful event in our existence and I had already talked about ways to release pent up emotions. If not scroll through and read some of the previous blog posts.
As you are putting lotion on or scrubbing~nows a perfect time to practice bodily acceptance. Tell it how you appreciate it's service to you, you love it, thank it, that you are there for it and you are here to help it stay in good healt Health is also allowing your energy to be harmonized as much as possible too by doing the emotional clearing but first recognize what is there, and then allow it to release what it needs to and then the love, peace and acceptance that is already there waiting for your approval of it will feel more apparent in your body..your life.
Here's a simple quick practice you can do everyday twice a day when you wash your face.
Emotions are seen through the face..I'm sure you've heard of "worry wrinkles, laugh lines) Even if you are straight faced when you are angry or sad (some people are) the energy still can collect in the face.. some people get red or turn white in their face due to certain witnessed events.
When you are washing your face breath imagining your allowing your pores and energy field on your face, head and chest to come to the surface and out~going down the drain filling it's place with golden energy of vitality, youthfullness, zest for life, calmness. Some reasons for acne is that people hold their emotions in...generally this is anger/frustration. I wash my face with a face brush and also get my neck and decollaté and when I put my serums and creams on I say nice things to them and thanking them for helping me stay glowing, youthful and vibrant! You always have time for the things that are important to you~please make yourself a priority even for stuff as simple as this.
A lot of emotions that have been pent up are from child hood~which is still to some degree playing out in your adult life granted it was never dealt with then. If you can consider time is not linear and whatever you experience doesn't just go away with out first noticing it. Those child hood memories can sabotage your current situation. Feelings such as not feeling like life is being fair, favoritism, frustration etc. can be from the inner child..that will have to be either the next blog or the following one~way too much to address with it but something to think about a bit for now when you're releasing.
It's all gonna be ok, it's just that all the Abraham hicks videos or manifestation devices and advice/tactics can only go so far ~because if you are not dealing with what keeps you out of consistent vibration of the thing you're doing your damnedest to experience, could be long in coming. Take charge Take your power back by addressing what needs attention first and then can find it easier to be in vibration for longer periods at a time.
Till next time
With appreciation and kindness
The vibration of love automatically puts you in the vibration of the answer to your question or request. Meaning, since you being in the vibration of having already received the manifestation brings it to you quicker~loving more and more people, places and things can help keep you in the vibration of receiving that..or the essence of the answer of what is desired OR what is best for you right now as maybe a lesson to learn just before the actual wished manifestation..quicker. You can say I love this/that or I'm grateful for this/that. But I think saying the word love as much as possible can help keep the loving awareness in the forefront of your consciousness.
Song: A Change Gonna Come by Thomas Owens and Brian Owens
Love is an energy that is consistently vibrating around the frequency hertz of 528. It is the true essence of who we are at our core. The body we have is the house for our soul. Our body holds information that it was given by
~what we believe our environment tells us,
~what we believe of what others say about us or life as a whole,
~what we buy into when watching/seeing something and even what we just simply see in passing (our mind is always recording whether we can comprehend it or not),
~What is listened to,
~What is engaged in physically or conversationally
~What is ingested food/drink
~Our thoughts and intentions play a huge role in how the body functions
ALL of this information is stored in our body~somewhere~no specific area generally, unless you had an accident of some sort and your wrist got injured, then that situation (the trauma, feeling etc) may more than likely get stored in your wrist area~not always the case but to give a minor example.
(As a side note, if this DID happen to you or someone you know, and it's the right wrist then you may need to clear that areas energy to be able to take more action in life if the right wrist is your dominant hand, if the left, and it's your less dominant hand then work on clearing that energy to be able to receive more in life)
You have more storage in your one body, than all of the the computers in the world combined.
All of this being said:
Certain events/situations in life can get stored in your body, this also includes your energy centers as well, your chakras or the parts of your body that correlate with a certain chakra off of the main seven~Crown, Third Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexus, Sacral and Root. There's many more Sub chakras in the body but will focus more on a few of the main, more known, 7 which affect the flow of your natural rhythm and the sub chakras anyway. All of the chakras govern different aspects of each individual life. Look that information up on your own. Maybe in a later post I'll get into it but for now...
The flow of Love~ will affect ALL parts of your body, at all times. The core of the love can be more felt in the actual body part area, Heart Chakra, and Higher Heart (a place that is about midway between your throat and actual heart)
When there is an emotional trauma, heart ache (ex: break up, betrayal etc)worthiness issues, abandonment, rejection, unrequited romantic feelings, anything that can cause what is considered fear (financial scare or sudden expenses, anger, resentment, un-forgiveness, rage, judgment, sudden change to name a few examples) all of which can be very personal to the individual.
When these emotions are not released right away or properly, they can cause blockages in the heart's energetic flow. This causes the flow to slow minorly or to a great extent.
A majority of people are taught to with-hold their emotions and not cry (especially for men as it seems in most area of the world) and anger (especially for women as it seems in most areas of the world too) which is a bunch of lies since emotions are genderless they are meant for both genders to express, when confronted with what is deemed a contrast in what is wanted at that particular moment, appropriately.
Laughter can be a release too. This is why some people may spontaneously laugh at what may appear as pretty in-appropriate times, try not to judge it now that you know.
When the emotions, that stem from beliefs/patterns, are not fully or even partly released out of the system, you may find yourself on a looping behavior. For example if you find yourself attracting the same kind of partner (romantic in this case) no matter HOW different they may seem on the outside, they still have qualities that feel harmful to you (drug addict, anger issues, are there and then suddenly unavailable or dismiss your feelings etc) That's something in YOUR energy body that is attracting it. There is an energetic match in your field that is a perfect vibrational match for the other party's energetic field. I'm not saying you deserve horrible treatment but now that you know, you can do some deep work on moving past it, by developing a relationship with yourself first and releasing what doesn't serve and daily integrating what DOES. This is also why it's healthy to give yourself sometime between relationships~evaluate what worked, what didn't and then look in yourself and see what could change~expectations? something learned growing up or early in life? Cultural norms that don't resonate with you? Take some time and honor what comes up. Your body and soul will tell you~listen with out judgment.
NO ONE CAN DO THE WORK BUT YOU~THIS WILL BE THE CASE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE~GET STARTED AND THEN CONTINUE~GO THE DISTANCE, DIVE TO THE DEEPEST PARTS OF YOURSELF~WHY?~ BECAUSE YOUR WORTH IT AND IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE WORTH IT? WELL~THAT'S A PERFECT VIBRATIONAL MATCH FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO LINK UP WTH YOU THAT DOESN'T ULTIMATELY THINK YOUR WORTH IT EITHER OR SOMEONE DOES SEE YOUR VALUE BUT YOU DON'T BELIEVE THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE RECEPTIVE MODE~BELIEVING IT YOURSELF... starting to make sense now?
These are all lessons that can be learned and rather quickly if you keep up on it All of it gets easier with daily notes of self awareness.
The slowing of love can affect the flow of all the chakras starting with the root all the way to the crown and here is a small list of those areas of life without diving too deep into what chakra does what. Safety, grounded, prosperity and abundance, intimacy, feelings of empowerment, confidence, speaking up/expression, confusion, worthiness, trust, gratitude, feeling connected to Spirit or many other parts of the psyche can be affected by the flow of love. The flow meaning to give and receive freely with out condition~first within yourself and then spilling over to others.
Since love is generally associated with so many emotions, it often gets a wrap, if the person or group of individuals feel jaded or victimized~ to hurting or being a curse or something to stay away from to avoid feeling.
Now you see that it's NEVER love that hurts ~it's what slows or blocks the flow that causes the sensation of suffering. What you TIE to the idea of love~
Being in-authentic to your true self at any given scenario can be a slowing factor in the feeling of receiving love too~
For example: If a man/woman has romantic feelings for someone but the person they know in their heart of hearts to be a true match for them through and through are not what they're family or friends would expect from them and so they pretend that another type of person, someone that IS maybe the religion or race they're family/current friends would want (or what they think they would want) That's not only NOT being authentic to their self but also that portrays issues of worthiness. If they knew their worth, they would know they will receive love and support from the people that truly care and will stand by them. Besides it's amazing what can happen when two people that have a healthy relationship with themselves and have love/appreciation for their own soul & journey~and their Divine Counterpart (and in some cases twin flame) does too~That energy vibration alone (that they create through their love together by connecting) not only raises their vibrational frequency to even higher levels (bliss is at a higher level for example) but ALSO raises everyone's level that is around or connected to them, individually or together. Actually helping the vibration of the planet, making it a more peaceful loving place, by setting a marvelous example. Too, since you being authentic to yourself/healthy choices, is why you're here on the planet right now, you being yourself IS what is needed for others as well! Them being authentic back is not what to look at. You do you
You are here to be your self authentically at every life-turn. This will cause change but change is the only constant, so nothing to be afraid of. Your mind will slow you down but keep pushing forward. The ego part of the mind would have you doing same shit different day for the rest of your life if you let it. It's not something to deny or hate , many people say " kill the ego" no, it's part of you, just know it's role, to keep you alert to problems and keep you alive but that doesn't mean what you're doing is good for you, it just means that what you've done has kept you alive. This is why many will stay in an abusive relationship, keep addictions alive or keep the same routine verbatim day after day, because it's what is known, not because it's what is good/healthy. See?
KNOW YOUR POWER OVER YOUR LIFE~IT'S YOURS NO ONE ELSES. Constantly being afraid of what others think will decrease your sense of power and value. No one ever does has a reflection of your true worth. You were worthy of love and your truest dreams before you were ever born, it's your soul's "right"
Once again~ the flow of love means giving and receiving it. Shutting yourself off from it or the world because your hurt only blocks not only receptivity in love~ but also every other awesome thing that could happen in your life. Like fun gifts, synchronicity, appreciation, joy, money, opportunity, pleasant happenstance, an amazing partner, etc..... Fine if you want to "hermit" for a while while you re evealute your life but try not to put up walls, just intend to work on you~while still receiving all that is the best in your life and outcome.
Intention is Key
If you're finding yourself feeling like you can't start with loving You for what ever reason, then start with life around you. Find joy and appreciation for all around you, get out in nature! Nature is where I experience true unconditional love for myself out side of myself. It always loves you. You're always loved by the cosmos, people you may not even know, animals, the very air you breath loves you. The only thing that makes you feel cut off is receptivity but practicing love for the surroundings or earth can get you started in the direction of the vibration that feels like it's easier to receive. Too many of us are taught to Give, give give but if you're not receiving A. you're not doing anyone any favors or helping yourself or your life B. Gonna be way harder to manifest your dreams/ next project etc. Can someone that's acting like a complete prick and doing what they can to hurt others (generally this is fear based) manifest? Yes, they can still have expectations and learned skills that allow them to receive their desired outcome HOWEVER there's always Karma (the energy and intention that is sent out and comes back inevitably and when least expected a lot of the time) to be dealt with. The way I'm teaching is way more fun and the Karma is inevitably going to have more positive dividends/return. Plus, healthier ...the list goes on.. Smile
Healthy ways to release emotions are physical activity or singing/speaking them into the air (not at someone, give yourself a breather and go outside if your pissed at someone release and then come back, you just might need to release some pent up stuff and then when you're done you may reaize that you would have over reacted to that person..food for thought). Imagine the emotions that are coming up and let them go and send love and forgiveness to the scenario and emotion. Can picture them as cartoon hearts or shapes if you want to, this releases you from the attachment to the emotion or scenario and fill yourself up with even more golden energy of love by breathing in your back heart (place that is parallel to your front heart, place where we receive the energy of love) and then exhale that out of your front heart (actual place of heart where you give love) You can also go out in nature and ask a tree to help you transmute the energy. I always ask, it's polite, and can put your back up to the trunk of it and breath in the trees energy and ground in mixing your grounding cord with the tree's and send the emotions/beliefs/thoughts into the branches to be transmuted into the Ethers.
I have added to this message an energy healing to help you feel unconditional love. I have energetically placed a ball of love on your back heart and front to help the flow increase. It won't work unless you accept it with a "Yes" To feel into it
Close your eyes
Place your hands over your heart
That's it! If you are receiving you may feel tingles or a heat sensation. Allow the flow
Allow it to help encourage your own essence of love with in and fill your whole being up.
No cost~ just allowing the Absolute, Infinite, Divine, Unconditional Love.
Love is the ultimate renewable resource
Let Love In by the Goo Goo Dolls
Where ever you're at with the two options in any given scenario~know that you always will have a choice~forever and ever Amen...
First you got to think of your truest motive in anything and everything you think/say and DO. Really be able to critically evaluate yourself with out judgement. Judgement in the sense that you automatically would feel shame if you called it (thought/word/action) out for being a certain way. If you find yourself thinking someone else was to blame for whatever your choices made are~ then might find it pretty justifiable to have such thoughts/feelings that lead to the behavior (decision made)~completely neglecting that you are the the sole reason for EVERY SINGLE CHOICE made~every time~as an adult.
The beauty about critically thinking about self motives and not blaming someone else for whatever~takes your POWER of choice BACK. Even when it comes to not being able to make something happen with out someone else's say-so, ACT as though it's perfect that way and make other choices that help your sense of ease that much more apparent~maybe work on another project or ..hell bake a pie! whatever just find something enjoyable to do as you allow whatever needs to take place~take place.
When you can truly look at this, and take your power of choice into consideration~then you can start to apply whether or not it's fear based or love based.
Fear based decisions are going to have a lot to do with Control/ Worthlessness/ Competition or Greed (lackmentality)/ Victim hood/ Anger/ Revenge/ Unforgiveness/ not Trusting or having Faith/ Resentment
For example if you are trying to manifest a significant amount of money~GREAT go for it! Money is very helpful for all kinds of things~there's always an abundance of it. Be open to receiving all that you can! Money's never the enemy ~people's CHOICES make them have Karma in one way or another.
If you are wanting a shit-ton of money to be "better" than your neighbor, and to gain a certain type of social status or to have more "toys" than your neighbor~ than that is FEAR based with the sense of having strong feelings of not being worthy enough just as you are..with out having all the "stuff" to show for it and "One Up" someone at the same time..which is also a lack mentality that if you don't hurry up and get "more" than maybe your neighbor will get it first and you will feel bad if that was your motive~it ends up being a never ending shit show because now you've developed a loop of external circumstances for validation and even if you DO get the money you desired~ it may be pretty tough to keep it if there are such issues with worthiness or lack.
It's perfectly find to have material things and lots of them if that is your interest, just don't have them to keep you happy. External things can always be taken from you whether it be a car~person~job~ or whatever because at the end of the day you have you and YOU can acquire the external again but it's going to be harder if your joy is constantly contingent upon something outside of you. Even relationships family/lover/friend~they always have the choice to leave or something happens and they can't be there for you in the way you'd hoped.
If you are there for yourself
A. it takes the pressure off some one else's shoulders to provide you happiness B. Being "enough" for yourself generally automatically attracts the people/places and things for your highest good, into your physical reality for your current 'life chapter'. On any given day you have the "unseen" with you (angels, spirit guides, higher self, Spirit ...if you choose to believe in them) but in the physical? ~you're really all you have for sure. Try to see that as an empowering idea.
A LOVE based decision is going to have the essence of Wholeness/ Forgiveness/ Joy/ Fulfillment Generousity (prosperity mentality ~there's more than enough) Harmony/ Calm & Grounded demeanor/ Feeling safe/ Freedom/ Worthiness/ Giving and Receiving is in fair balance /Gratefulness
For example if you are making a decision based off of love than immediately your decision is going to feel calmer~truer to your authentic nature. Let's say you are deciding to give a certain amount of time or money to a specific charity, do it because you are passionate about whatever you're donating to, to see it prosper. Not because you feel guilty. That's why it's important to pick one that is close to your heart~ arts or animals or whatever just as long as the energy towards it is somewhat positive~ I believe that will help the energy of the charity as well. Give because there is enough (prosperity mindset) not so much that you can't pay your bills etc but because you know you have enough to give at least some. That generosity shows the universe/ and you that you are prosperous~there fore can be open to receiving more prosperity as well.
Or a love based decision could be NOT to do something~honoring yourself mind/body and soul to stay home if you are feeling drained instead of going out.
Also: consider taking a minute to see where you're at vibrationally before giving encouragement or listening to someone else's encouragement or declarations. When someone has just gotten hurt in anyway by someone~ might not want to take their advice until they are in a place where they have had some time to heal.
For example: One of your friends got cheated on and now she/he says women/men can't be trusted or Hey you better check your lovers phone or pay attention to these signs because that could mean they are cheating!
They might really be trying to help you~but it's a fear based help not from a loving place. Now let's say you buy into it and start being paranoid your going to be cheated on and now may end up sabotaging a perfectly fine and faithful connection. Now having that been said: think about all the stuff you may have been told by your parents growing up: Such as "life's hard" "you're going to have to struggle if you want to make it in this world" or whatever else pops up in your mind reading this. Once again, yes they may be trying to help you by Fearing you into something because that's what they went through but does NOT mean it has to be your "story" There are still parents arranging marriages for their children making sure they have the right "make-up" right religion, color of skin, poise, has a certain level of education etc. HOWEVER that is definitely based in fear and external circumstances ~ not love, not to mention very controlling. Having true love/passion/zest/ authentic connection is so key. Yes some of the other stuff helps but is not the sole reason. So before giving advice on who to marry~maybe keep it light. People need freedom in that choice. Encouraging people to love, respect and honor themselves first will help them to know themselves more and can feel more confident in the partner they choose. People think they know what's best for others and sometimes they are right and sometimes not~ this is why it's important to grow self trust and base LOVING decisions from that place above all
Self LOVE is always a must to be able to recognize where you're basing any decision because if you love yourself then you automatically are of the higher vibrations and can keep grounded and balanced easier.
Take time to collect yourself everyday~breath, drink plenty of water, feel being in your body, ground yourself (imagine a grounding cord from the base of your spine to the center of the earth and wrap that cord around the core of earth) Eat plenty of healthy foods, get outside if you can~fresh air is the best!
Take me as I am by Mary J Blige
Closer to my Dreams by Goapele
With love and appreciation
I took a few weeks off from posting to think of new ways or different perspectives to get the self love importance across into logical applications and offering suggestions for implementing them into daily life.
Some of it will be a repeat if you are a repeat reader which is fine anyway because it's like the saying goes "An oldie but a goodie!" And if it's ( "it" being a lesson or phrase/words I've written or you see anywhere in the world billboard, another's post, someone saying something etc) a noticeable repeat for you, then maybe it's something to look deeper into for a deeper integration in your own life.
Let's get down to it ~ WORTHINESS
I have noticed or studied several reasons why people find worthiness a tricky thing to manage either at all or on a consistent basis.
One reason that seems to be one of the most common is that so many are taught since childhood the idea that their parents only love them if they do/say/or achieve. In that sense they have to "prove" themselves worthy by constantly "doing" or "achieving" so in that sense they learn that Worthiness is goal oriented and only feeling like they are worthy when they growing up and get a certain amount of praise or loving actions from others, namely guardians/parents or they themselves have a sense of self satisfaction but only when said goal is achieved. It ends up being a vicious cycle of always looking forward to the next level of achievement so they can feel that way again~worthy~ of love, career, relationships, or whatever else they put in their field of dreams. In the meantime beating up on themselves under the sheer ILLUSION that if they could just be harder on themselves than that means the achievement is that much closer and also feel the rewards are that much greater. The fucked up part is that it never really fills a person up therefore the lasting sense of worthiness can NEVER be satisfied ~ever! Sure there's a healthy sense of satisfaction of achieving goals with the idea that they are worthy, loved, and ENOUGH no matter if they make the challenged goal or not. (because sometimes shit happens) Yes, some parents over do it with too much discipline when the kid "messes up" in the parents eyes and over doing it with praise when the child does something "correct" in the parents mind. Most often the parents most likely were taught this same type of treatment and may not even realize how much of an impact they are having on THEIR offspring as they never realized their own patterns. This pattern can stop with you. Learning this, as a pattern/belief that you may have, is where it comes in handy to then release this pattern/belief. Showing yourself love no matter what, you're less likely to have those patterns/beliefs passed onto the next generation, whether there are children had or not. This goes for other peoples kids either in school, daycare, learning academys' etc..
Another one is some religions will teach this~ "You're not worthy of God's love, You're a sinner and you have to gain favor in the eye's of the Lord" or something along the lines of that. Although I see there are positive's to religious organizations, there are some teachings that are detrimental to the true thriving and worthiness and the feeling of unconditional love to the individual. All that does is tell the person that he or she is supposedly unconditionally loved by God but has to prove the worthiness...? Can you see how 'worthiness' in that sense means the love is actually CONDITIONAL?
YOU HAVE BEEN, ARE NOW AND WILL ALWAYS BE WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IN THE EYES OF THE ANDROGYNOUS SPIRIT AND THERE'S NOT A FUCKING THING YOU NEED TO DO TO EARN IT.
Yes, you will have consequences of thoughts/words/actions but that's what we as souls, are here for~ to learn until the next life. So maybe you fucked up and maybe BIG time? Welcome to the club of every other single soul that has ever existed, it's gonna happen on varying degrees in every life you live~it's part of the lessons per life. This is where the beauty of forgiving self, letting go of the energy of whatever needs forgiveness and then keeping the lesson learned and integrated as to not hit repeat on the situation.
Integration is something like when you learn a lesson and really don't want to repeat it again and you get presented with another opportunity to do something different and you actually DO something different. That's when you truly FEEL the difference in the lessons learned and also in your body you may notice a sense of relief because in that very second you send the message to yourself and the Universe that you GOT the lesson and you choose another healthier route is when you will begin attracting the route of greater ease.
Another way worthLESSness is taught~ is through the amazing variety and amount of teachings of what a man is vs what a woman is in every single culture around the world. Women are taught to be a certain way and men are taught to be a certain way to gain favor in their culture. So if one or the other falls short of being that perfected image, according to that society, then feelings of self worth can start to disintegrate immediately. That too, can be started in childhood~for example, little boys can get picked on for playing with dolls or little girls can get picked on for wanting to play with trucks and cars~so therefore to gain favor or love from others, they immediately conform wanting to fit in. So there fore in their minds to HAVE self worth or get some sense of it, they continue to deny their true authentic selves which unfortunately back fires due to not really accepting their selves as a whole even though a positive feeling may be there it can be quite temporary. Sometimes feelings of emptiness can result as their not fully engaging the entirety of their being not accepting themselves because something can feel like it's missing if their's denial of self somewhere~IT IS ! From awareness is all, absolutely recoverable.
One more reason people have a hard time with worthiness is that if they talk about themselves in a positive manner, often they can get called conceited, or selfish, not humble enough or even narcissistic. That results in people actually believing that if they put themselves down and put others on a pedestal~they are that much more humble and can be seen as a more virtuous person. Also, can come from childhood when someone gets a praise and the kid agrees then the other person fellow peer or parent tells them not to be full of themselves or be more shy about saying thank you~consequently the child can grow up being shy to receive a compliment or completely put down what some one said nice to them. For example most of you have at least heard this once or twice "You look SO gorgeous today!" "Me? No way, I didn't do my hair, my outfits is terrible BLA BLA BLA..." entirely shutting down the other person but even WORSE yet, re-ittering to their own self "put downs" over and over again. The body is always listening~ the more anyone puts themselves down~the less likely the universe is going to bring what that person wants because they are putting out vibes of unworthiness to receive~every single time. I understand, there can be compliments by someone that is truly not wanted or derogatory to the targeted person, still don't need to deny it, just don't accept it. Keep walking, put head phones on ~whatever. The less engagement to a particular scenario, the better because then there's not entrainment to the energy and then it won't get stuck in a person's energy field. To me it's healthy to have a sense of confidence~ one can feel good about themselves and what they are currently representing with out taking from someone else. That's the greatness about there being enough to go around in life. There's enough for both parties to have a good healthy sense of self~yet another form of self love.
A little check list of ways to tell if you need to get on your worthiness scale~
Are you giving more than receiving?
This is another one that really gets people, that if they just GIVE GIVE GIVE! they will receive worthiness marks from some external source. Yes it's a positive karma to give but It's also positive to receive, otherwise there's an imbalance. Too much giving and not enough receiving can result in martyrism and learning through pain and suffering, that if there's just enough 'sacrifice' they get rewarded at some point. The thing is that if there's little to no opening up for receiving (help, money, gifts, compliments, or whatever else is positive to help you along your journey) then it's gonna be pretty tough manifesting your own dreams into physical reality. Plus, it's really draining energetically.
Are you doing more than the other in a relationship?
Generally, if it feels like you're doing more for the relationship than the other party, probably are~ for example you're doing more of the thoughtful things or giving gifts, texting more or giving more praise, being the one that invites the other more etc., than the other person than it's time to pull back, with out the fear that you will lose them. Remember~ you're enough, allow people the space and breathing room to come back your way if they choose. You're worthy of being chosen~ always. You may need to have a conversation though, in some cases the other person may not even realize it.
If someone is putting out the vibration of being a "over giver" they may attract a person that is an "over receiver" in some cases there may need to be a parting if there isn't a balancing out of both energies but no worries, as you balance out YOUR giving/receiving you will then attract a more complimentary friend/lover or improving the existing relationship. Do you and let them do their part for themselves.
Are you "one upping" people in compliments?
This means when someone gives you a compliment but you don't feel worthy of it and you 'go to TOWN' showering them with compliments of all the things you love about THEM! A simple "Thank You" is fine. Giving compliments are just that~a GIFT! You don't need to trade Babe. At least if you do give a compliment, don't over do it, keep it simple and from a place that you appreciate their kindness and worthy of what they say, saying "Thank you" from a place of whole hearted worthiness. Besides, over doing it can lead the other person thinking "Shit, guess I should have prepared a check list of my own of compliments for this person, so that my effort wasn't so obviously less impactful, as a come back" And THEN? Could lead to full combat in the compliment war unless one of you stops! lol
Remember this always~when worthiness starts to go down the drain,
EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE WILL START FOLLOW SUIT.(health, gifts, help, prosperity, joy, career, relationships ) It's going to be that way for the rest of your beautiful existence on earth. Better to get a grip on it now and keep the momentum going on a consistency.
Relax~ open up, breath, allow the good stuff in, whatever form it can get to you. The more you naturally feel worthy yourself the more you see it in all of life. Resulting in prosperity mindset, less comparing, more acceptance of others, more confidence, JOY, delightful surprises, LOVE, peace, forgiveness, ease, flow and so much more in a truly positive manner. It also sets a lovely example for others to witness and learn from too.
You're worth it~always.
"All I do is WIN" by Dj Khaled (mainly for the hook/chorus)
"Take my picture" by Filter (go to the youtube channel of Oceanic stars~the commentary is really great)
Colors! Yellow and Red ~yellow for empowerment and red for grounding and passion
With love and appreciation
Not only does it never do any good to hold onto your own regrets, failures, things you think you should/should't have said or did, it equally is unnecessary to hold others in that same place.
Here's why: In the case of regret towards self. When you are mournful about all the things you have regret for in the past, it seriously stunts growth or forward movement. For example, if you have made a mistake with a business deal and lossed money or clients and you are angry with yourself and now you've become an expert of running it in your head over and over again wishing you could turn back time. OR You've made a perceived mistake and now you're minds obsessed with all the things you WOULD have done different. Here's the crappy deal, every time you are running it over in your mind and feeling that with your body, you are creating a belief, that you are scared of messing up again, in your mind that eventually turns from conscious to subconscious. Since it's subconscious thoughts/vibrations that ultimately guide thoughts, words and actions~ that leaves you with a greater possibility of messing up again. Making decisions that may not be the best option, happens more when you keep holding onto a certain low vibrating emotion (failure, guilt, shame) during the decision making process. As you are feeling bad for whatever happened you also add worthlessness or powerlessness of self, which contributes to not such a great attraction point for best case scenarios in several areas of life, not just the regretted situation.
What happens if you are feeling terrible about something involving another person and now your relationship is strained. By holding onto that guilt or shame, you may possibly be sending them an energetic cord with that same vibration. That's more on the physics side of it however still true and very possible if they are resonating with it. So when they think of the incident or whatever happened associated with you (if a cord of energetic attachment has been accomplished in being hooked into their energy field), it vibrationally holds them more than likely (not always) NOT to be able to move forward as well as possibly have a harder time letting it go even if they already have wanted to forgive it and move on. It depends on where they are at vibrationally and what lesson THEY may be getting from it.
Here's what's happening when it's you that is having a hard time letting OTHERS off the wheel of regret (having a hard time forgiving). For one, if you keep wanting others to feel bad for what was said or done you're most likely going to attract in some way a situation that is that same vibration but it's YOU that's on the other side. Ask yourself what is it that you really are getting out of not forgiving. Does it put you in a place of superiority by comparing yourself? Does it make anything you did before in any given "mess up" some how feel better? Are you basing not letting it go by what you were taught or you have some idea that you are protecting yourself? Does it feed a part of you that feels like a victim therefore others can dote attention on you if you keep telling the story to whomever will listen? That right there will continue to keep your vibes low, contributing to more and more space between you and what positive situations/opportunities that you DO wish to occur. It's great to release what it is that's bothering you but in healthy ways. (I've mentioned many in previous posts) Talk about whatever happened but to only one or two people you trust and that are open to listening but truly consider your motive first and do your best to talk about it for advice towards resolve or could join a support group to get different ideas on a resolution. This is what it means when some one says that by not forgiving others, you only hurt yourself. That goes for forgiving yourself too. If it's something that is very traumatic for you, do this in layers, listen to your body as to what is safe for you to release each time. I get it, some things run deep. Pace yourself but KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
What's more? Holding onto emotions such as unforgiveness, rage, anger, resentment, regret, etc. can SERIOUSLY affect your physical health. Not letting things go, can lead to ulcers, digestion issues, acne, rashes, heart problems, joint aches and many more.
Here's a few authors to look up to see more of the association of the body and emotions
Here's a mini practice: For both sides of what was described above
Get a piece of paper
Write down what the pros and cons are about the situation
What did you learn (to be more compassionate, another approach etc)
What would you like to accomplish now that it's done and no turning back
Send love to the situation (what ever it is) close your eyes, get grounded, imagine cords of attachment being cut ( I see them as electric looking string of light) call your energy back to you and give back the others (if another's involved) and then imagine Pink/Green/Gold light filling the situation (have a picture in mind) and then see yourself filled with love adding gratitude for whatever lesson and forgiveness towards self and others~ take one deep breath ~and be done with it.
Think about it, if your attraction point is what energy, positive or negative, is being the most focused on, then if you focus on the regret/worthlessness/fear etc. instead of forgiveness and or what it IS that your heart desires, then it's going to make it a hell of a lot harder to receive the desires. To me this makes sense and why I am not afraid to address the deeper topics. In order to actually see what it is that's beneath the surface of either motives or emotions (whatever they may be) or what's true beliefs are holding back our hearts desires (love, peace, prosperity, freedom in those feelings many forms) then can see where you are truly at on your path of fulfilling purpose.
THIS IS THE MIGHTY POWER OF FORGIVENESS IN ALL OF IT'S GLORY AND NOW YOU SEE IT LOGICALLY APPLIED.
Someone said that I was like a Spiritual Doula, bringing the seemingly Esoteric/Etheric and harmonizing the quotes/sayings with the Body/Mind so it makes actual sense to apply the Sayings that seem out of true cognition~To me it seems like that's a good way to describe my approach, it's my intention anyway. On my way to doing my best to heal myself from traumas I found these books that were great but really had a tough time actualizing it into real life and applying it when possible~everyday. So I decided to try to help others with that as well using what I've learned either from my own experiences or others that have relayed their own experience. I'm not afraid to go deep any more and wish to show others it's not so scary too.
Take what resonate always and come back to this later and read again. It's amazing what will make sense when read a second or third time.
This all will also help you take your power back. By not allowing others to dictate how you operate and being as emotionally independent as possible, it adds to self EMPOWERMENT. This is what it means when Spiritual advisors, gurus etc mean when they say "Don't give your power away" My interpretation anyway~
Song: Bonobo- The Keeper ft. Andrey Triana (Banks Remix)
Good one to dance and get into flow. Shake off the energetic shit and get into your shimmy Love! You're worth it!
With love and appreciation