This is a topic that tends to trigger many and also be one of the biggest components of why some manifestations that are most desired~don't come into fruition.
The saying "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison waiting for the other person to die"
"Forgiving sets you free not giving the "Ok" on what the other person did in your eyes"
OR something along those lines~ STILL can leave a person quite confused as those are more, to me, "Etheric and fluffy" sounding than practical & applicable advice. Although well intended~
I'm going to break it down with a few stories
Here's a bit of story that may help:
There was a woman married to a man and from her point of view, it was quite abusive~ there was complaining of several maltreatments on her end and the man had his side of the story as well (I'll save details for time sake) now fast forward several years~the man had moved on~forgave himself, in a new relationship and when he heard about that woman he didn't think or torment himself of anything negative~he asked how she was and hoped all was well.
(this is all coming from a girl that told me about this~her parents)
While on the other side (the girl's mother) anytime the father was brought up she would ask immediately if he was still being "x,y,z" with the energy in her voice of hoping it was true to justify why she could still remain mad at him~the woman had moved onto another relationship too but STILL chose to remain in that un-forgiveness state, therefore inadvertently treating her new husband like she couldn't trust him. Then the day came where the father had passed away and when the girl went to eventually tell the mother what had happened she first asked her mother "What would happen if he died, would you finally let it go? What does it take for you to forgive?" The mother said" I don't know, I guess I would let it be done then" The girl told her mother and she fell silent for a while and then they resolved their conversation.
This is a good example of how it really doesn't make the other person "pay" for their perceived mess-up. It certainly doesn't make the person not forgiving or another words letting go of the attachment to a scenario or person, feel better.
What energetically can happen is this:
Not forgiving someone or energetically letting it go. All it does is add that specific vibration into YOUR field of existence. as in your body and the soul essence that surrounds your body, THEREFORE, not only bringing your energy down but also inviting yet ANOTHER situation..not always in the same story form but the essence of it back into your physical experience.
The reason it's a dense energy or low on the vibrational chart is because yes, it has it's own vibration to it but also because generally there are other emotions attached to it as well such as fear, rejection,revenge, betrayal, rage, anger, sadness or something of the like. These energies can not only bring the whole body's health down but can eventually turn into physical ailments.
A list of some reasons why some justify not forgiving:
>>If they don't forgive~ then they can have a sense of power over the other or they are better than the other person. They have something to hold over the head of the other.
That sense of "power" is fear based, that if that gets taken away, then may be the "weaker or one that is too vulnerable" The energy of fear only weakens a persons system energetically and sometimes quite a lot. The energy of love and forgiveness is the energy that will ultimately strengthen.
>>Addiction to drama~ many people are addicted to drama..Below I will source a page that will do all the explaining.
Copy and paste:
>> Forgiving one person means betraying another person.
In not forgiving one person because of another persons wishes, you are not honoring your OWN authenticity and plus, all that does is invite that dense energy into your own field. By entraining to someone else's vibration (their felt emotional state) you can more easily attract the essence of that situation into your own life. Let others write their own story and you can still be a wonderful person~that doesn't have a subscription to that 'story'
~YOU CAN'T BE SAD ENOUGH TO TAKE AWAY SOMEONE ELSE'S SADNESS~
>> Guilt is a BIG one for not forgiving of self
You can't be guilty, ashamed, self hating enough~to go back in time and fix what happened. Do your best to learn and move on making new decisions with a what you perceive as a healthier approach. Plus, if the other person is feeling into your energy about a certain situation..you can make matters worse by not only keeping the low vibe connection alive but not really allowing the energy of freedom and love to come into it's full capacity therefore thinking and acting more clearly and from a 'solid' place.
>> Not forgiving means you don't forget which therefore gives a sense of protection
For all the reasons I mentioned above (how it attracts more of that situations energy) plus the less you allow peace and love the less you are in flow and can feel MORE stuck and brings you down.
Here's a mini story~ One girl got cheated on (of course this goes both ways) by her husband...she then got a divorce and moved on eventually, thinking she could just move on and not go through a letting go and forgiveness as it was somewhat on a subconscious level. That subconscious, now said that she should be careful to watch and monitor her new boyfriend with little to no trust. Everything else in their relationship was great except when they were separate
she would demand that he show her where he was on the phone-camera or every detail about his where-abouts and when they were out, she would accuse him of looking at other girls. He was a really good, faithful guy and loved and wanted to be with her but eventually had to cut the relationship loose because the closer she got, the more paranoid she got that she would be betrayed again.
In this case, as you can see, because of not forgiving and letting go of the first person's behavior, she inadvertently made some one else 'pay' for it. Even when the new man was true to her, she still FELT like she was being cheated on. Still keeping the previous vibration in her system. Otherwise they could have had a much better relationship.
>> It keeps you in connection to the other person. Meaning that if you can just show the other how shitty of a person you are, then they will return and be with you again.
This can be quite counter productive and somewhat manipulative. (although most do not really intend manipulation but that's the energy) This not only can suffocate the other person's energy field (by constantly thinking of them or finding some attachments..fear from thinking you're losing them) It's better to forgive yourself and love them anyway allowing them the freedom to choose you also allowing them more room to breath and possibly consider. When you see yourself in a healthy and whole light, that gives others the opportunity to view you that way too.
>> Ok now for the BIGGY~REVENGE!
This one is one that really gets a lot of people. That if they forgive then the other person (or group of people) then they can't monitor when "They get theirs!" Having a complete sense of false understanding that the other person won't somehow get the same thing happen to them, hurting them just as bad as they hurt.
NO ONE CAN EVER HURT LIKE YOU~ FOR THE SIMPLE AND LASTING REASON THAT THEY ARE NOT YOU. YOU BEING VENGEFUL TO ANOTHER WILL NEVER BE TRULY JUSTIFIED. THAT OTHER PERSON IS NOT OBLIGATED TO FEEL BAD FOR ANYTHING THEY HAVE DONE AT ALL LET ALONE FOR A PERIOD OF TIME.
Besides you are not the judge of them, THEY are. Just like they are not the judge of you, YOU are.
By now you can see many ways to understand and hopefully intesgrate that holding onto a grudge/not forgiving hurts YOU and your life's journey~the most.
Now for a little exercise to get you started on the detaching unhealthy energetic cords between you and others.
Breath deep~ from your head down to your toes. 3 times and now picture a cord of love connecting you to the center of a loving earth~grounding you further. Helps you feel safe.
Picture you and the other~ or if that's too much right now...put another thing that represents that person in front of you and send a cloud of pink Love between you two (picture whatever represents love to you..like hearts or doves or even a golden cloud)~and when you are ready~to that person..this session may take a few times~listen to your body. (This really helps if you're in nature but will work with intention where ever you are, nature naturally grounds the human system.)
As mentioned earlier, if you are having a hell of a time manifesting or keeping your vibes 'high' on a consistency, then this may be the reason. You may not think of "forgiveness" right away but if some of the lower vibes or beliefs and patterns are not lining up with what you are truly desiring with your heart, then this may be the reason why "forgiveness" and can fix it so your dreams for your highest good can easier manifest into your physical reality.
If you are having a hard time talking to someone about some of what I write. Then you can show them this blog~ to help them. I tend to get straight to the point and can be an easier gateway to a healthy conversation as I know many of these subjects are not easy to communicate and they will take what they are interested in receiving, after that then let it go. You can only help others to the ability that they will allow you to.
With appreciation & Love