Is by starting with your very own reflection. Love is the essence of our being. It's all the shiz-nit that gets in the way that makes it seem daunting, unreachable or even selfish (in the negative sense) to experience self love. From my own experiences and listening to countless other's tales of what love is~or is not. It's amazing the incredible varieties that the description, of the energy of love can emit.
Let's say you grew up in a household where there was abuse of one nature or another and/or neglect, your idea of love may be quite different than someone that felt an abundance of what they perceived as love during the earlier growing stages. No matter what your life story is, teachings based on external resources are good to know but still leave us searching for that "love fill" from else where but our very own heart. The intended goal for this blog is for anyone to attain the feeling of love with neither any one else's validation, expectation nor reaction. It's nice to have external words or actions of what you perceive as love but that is not to be the basis of your feeling of being loved. No one is obligated to love you and even when external love is present, it might be conditional and that's where it ends up being temporary.
When you learn to start loving yourself unconditionally, not only can you be there for yourself full time but that also opens the door to the feeling of love from others. For example when there is a hurt and it is perceived as LOVE being the hurt, you may end up pushing the very idea away but ultimately that leaves you feeing even more empty because the flow of love is shut or slowed down with in yourself, then even when others DO say or feel love for you, you may not be able to feel it to the fullest. However, if you learn that love is a gift and to be given to yourself first, then the conditions start disappearing. Love is a gift, never to be said to hear it back..then it's not love, that's manipulation, and can leave one feeling hurt because of a possible expectation but to say it for the sole reason that you'd like to "gift" someone, then it's a win~win. Love is powerful, not a weakness. There's a misperception that love can make a person weak and that to have feelings makes one more vulnerable but quite the opposite, to face any personal vulnerabilities and to feel love actually makes one stronger as it increases resilience. You can be strong and loving at the same time, this comes more naturally as you learn the safety in loving yourself first. There is also a mis conception that to love yourself first and put yourself first, is to be selfish or even narcissistic. Couldn't be FURTHER from the truth. Love is so expansive that when you feel love for yourself first you can love from a place of already feeling whole and giving for the gift of it. To always put others first and not pay attention to yourself does NOT make you a better person and can often leave you feeling empty and some times resentful. Even when you have kids, do your best to get the nutrition and water and exercise to be able to feel more centered for whatever surprises that the little ones or others may present. You are worthy of unconditional love ALWAYS!
Here's few tips on how you can connect your mind, soul and body together to further facilitate your having the experience of self love. First check your nutrition,do your best to have balanced and healthy meals. There are plenty of websites or programs that can help you find great tasting healthy food at a price that matches where you are at right now. A few heart healthy foods are pomegranates, cherries, black beans, or olive oil, there's more but you'll have to look them up. Also doing mind and heart connective meditations (you can find plenty online or yoga practices) Keeping the brain in good health is helpful. A few ideas are walnuts, garlic, blueberries once again, lots of websites out there that help you find more. Too much processed sugar can be tough on the heart. Do your best to fill up on nutrient rich foods, green juices or protein and THEN have a small amount of sugar. WATER is always a good idea. at least 60 oz a day is generally a good start just to get you to drink some and then it'd be best to get more if you are going to sweat a lot, work out or have a lot of physical activity in a day. Breathing deep through out the day to help keep the mind clear and to get more heart centered, close your eyes and pretend you are breathing in and out through the heart center. Get MOVING physically and if that is hard right now due to maybe a wheel chair or injury, look up ways to get the blood flowing and circulation according to your ability right now. It's really great to be moving and singing or saying affirmations at the same time. A few affirmations are of course " I love myself" "Life loves me" but if you aren't there yet, even something such as affirming what you are grateful for right now will increase feelings of positivity to get you to the point where saying "I love myself, I appreciate my unique self" etc will come easier to the mouth and consequently with true intention to experience it~ you will. You ARE love already. It WILL be felt if you truly allow it at some point~for now, be patient and just get started. There are other emotional releases that will allow the feeling of love such as forgiveness, worthiness, beliefs etc but those will be for other posts.
The colors to increase the flow of love are pink and green the more vibrant the better. This doesn't mean you have to wear it but have a picture at least on hand to look at through out the day with the intention to feel it.
The music for the release of the emotion that is ready to be released first is
"The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars.
This can be accompanied by the visual of releasing the sad, hurt, betrayal etc into a rose colored lit balloon to be transmuted into love and then when you feel it's really out of you or at least part~ then pop that balloon signifying that you are no longer willing to resonate with the experience that brought the emotion in the first place. If it starts feeling too intense, wait for another time that you are in a place to get the rest out. Some emotional wounds run deep, be patient with the process.
The soothing song for after wards is "I love myself" by Kendrick Lamar.
I believe in LOVE.
You can also try listening to music that has 528 hz added to it. That has studies that show it helps to raise your vibration to a better feel good energy.
No matter what you are more inclined to listen to. The whole point is to get the negative emotion to release to allow the loving emotion to more fully emerge. I like all the music I put on here. My taste in genres is across the board. They are only suggestions. All that I write is to get your ideas flowing and then it's up to you to do more thorough investigation. My material is from years of study, people's stories, and my own personal experiences. Most of the information on here is available from an ample sources.
However, if you go to the website www.heartmath.org, there you will find more specific heart centered practices.
With love and appreciation