I took a few weeks off from posting to think of new ways or different perspectives to get the self love importance across into logical applications and offering suggestions for implementing them into daily life.
Some of it will be a repeat if you are a repeat reader which is fine anyway because it's like the saying goes "An oldie but a goodie!" And if it's ( "it" being a lesson or phrase/words I've written or you see anywhere in the world billboard, another's post, someone saying something etc) a noticeable repeat for you, then maybe it's something to look deeper into for a deeper integration in your own life.
Let's get down to it ~ WORTHINESS
I have noticed or studied several reasons why people find worthiness a tricky thing to manage either at all or on a consistent basis.
One reason that seems to be one of the most common is that so many are taught since childhood the idea that their parents only love them if they do/say/or achieve. In that sense they have to "prove" themselves worthy by constantly "doing" or "achieving" so in that sense they learn that Worthiness is goal oriented and only feeling like they are worthy when they growing up and get a certain amount of praise or loving actions from others, namely guardians/parents or they themselves have a sense of self satisfaction but only when said goal is achieved. It ends up being a vicious cycle of always looking forward to the next level of achievement so they can feel that way again~worthy~ of love, career, relationships, or whatever else they put in their field of dreams. In the meantime beating up on themselves under the sheer ILLUSION that if they could just be harder on themselves than that means the achievement is that much closer and also feel the rewards are that much greater. The fucked up part is that it never really fills a person up therefore the lasting sense of worthiness can NEVER be satisfied ~ever! Sure there's a healthy sense of satisfaction of achieving goals with the idea that they are worthy, loved, and ENOUGH no matter if they make the challenged goal or not. (because sometimes shit happens) Yes, some parents over do it with too much discipline when the kid "messes up" in the parents eyes and over doing it with praise when the child does something "correct" in the parents mind. Most often the parents most likely were taught this same type of treatment and may not even realize how much of an impact they are having on THEIR offspring as they never realized their own patterns. This pattern can stop with you. Learning this, as a pattern/belief that you may have, is where it comes in handy to then release this pattern/belief. Showing yourself love no matter what, you're less likely to have those patterns/beliefs passed onto the next generation, whether there are children had or not. This goes for other peoples kids either in school, daycare, learning academys' etc..
Another one is some religions will teach this~ "You're not worthy of God's love, You're a sinner and you have to gain favor in the eye's of the Lord" or something along the lines of that. Although I see there are positive's to religious organizations, there are some teachings that are detrimental to the true thriving and worthiness and the feeling of unconditional love to the individual. All that does is tell the person that he or she is supposedly unconditionally loved by God but has to prove the worthiness...? Can you see how 'worthiness' in that sense means the love is actually CONDITIONAL?
YOU HAVE BEEN, ARE NOW AND WILL ALWAYS BE WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IN THE EYES OF THE ANDROGYNOUS SPIRIT AND THERE'S NOT A FUCKING THING YOU NEED TO DO TO EARN IT.
Yes, you will have consequences of thoughts/words/actions but that's what we as souls, are here for~ to learn until the next life. So maybe you fucked up and maybe BIG time? Welcome to the club of every other single soul that has ever existed, it's gonna happen on varying degrees in every life you live~it's part of the lessons per life. This is where the beauty of forgiving self, letting go of the energy of whatever needs forgiveness and then keeping the lesson learned and integrated as to not hit repeat on the situation.
Integration is something like when you learn a lesson and really don't want to repeat it again and you get presented with another opportunity to do something different and you actually DO something different. That's when you truly FEEL the difference in the lessons learned and also in your body you may notice a sense of relief because in that very second you send the message to yourself and the Universe that you GOT the lesson and you choose another healthier route is when you will begin attracting the route of greater ease.
Another way worthLESSness is taught~ is through the amazing variety and amount of teachings of what a man is vs what a woman is in every single culture around the world. Women are taught to be a certain way and men are taught to be a certain way to gain favor in their culture. So if one or the other falls short of being that perfected image, according to that society, then feelings of self worth can start to disintegrate immediately. That too, can be started in childhood~for example, little boys can get picked on for playing with dolls or little girls can get picked on for wanting to play with trucks and cars~so therefore to gain favor or love from others, they immediately conform wanting to fit in. So there fore in their minds to HAVE self worth or get some sense of it, they continue to deny their true authentic selves which unfortunately back fires due to not really accepting their selves as a whole even though a positive feeling may be there it can be quite temporary. Sometimes feelings of emptiness can result as their not fully engaging the entirety of their being not accepting themselves because something can feel like it's missing if their's denial of self somewhere~IT IS ! From awareness is all, absolutely recoverable.
One more reason people have a hard time with worthiness is that if they talk about themselves in a positive manner, often they can get called conceited, or selfish, not humble enough or even narcissistic. That results in people actually believing that if they put themselves down and put others on a pedestal~they are that much more humble and can be seen as a more virtuous person. Also, can come from childhood when someone gets a praise and the kid agrees then the other person fellow peer or parent tells them not to be full of themselves or be more shy about saying thank you~consequently the child can grow up being shy to receive a compliment or completely put down what some one said nice to them. For example most of you have at least heard this once or twice "You look SO gorgeous today!" "Me? No way, I didn't do my hair, my outfits is terrible BLA BLA BLA..." entirely shutting down the other person but even WORSE yet, re-ittering to their own self "put downs" over and over again. The body is always listening~ the more anyone puts themselves down~the less likely the universe is going to bring what that person wants because they are putting out vibes of unworthiness to receive~every single time. I understand, there can be compliments by someone that is truly not wanted or derogatory to the targeted person, still don't need to deny it, just don't accept it. Keep walking, put head phones on ~whatever. The less engagement to a particular scenario, the better because then there's not entrainment to the energy and then it won't get stuck in a person's energy field. To me it's healthy to have a sense of confidence~ one can feel good about themselves and what they are currently representing with out taking from someone else. That's the greatness about there being enough to go around in life. There's enough for both parties to have a good healthy sense of self~yet another form of self love.
A little check list of ways to tell if you need to get on your worthiness scale~
Are you giving more than receiving?
This is another one that really gets people, that if they just GIVE GIVE GIVE! they will receive worthiness marks from some external source. Yes it's a positive karma to give but It's also positive to receive, otherwise there's an imbalance. Too much giving and not enough receiving can result in martyrism and learning through pain and suffering, that if there's just enough 'sacrifice' they get rewarded at some point. The thing is that if there's little to no opening up for receiving (help, money, gifts, compliments, or whatever else is positive to help you along your journey) then it's gonna be pretty tough manifesting your own dreams into physical reality. Plus, it's really draining energetically.
Are you doing more than the other in a relationship?
Generally, if it feels like you're doing more for the relationship than the other party, probably are~ for example you're doing more of the thoughtful things or giving gifts, texting more or giving more praise, being the one that invites the other more etc., than the other person than it's time to pull back, with out the fear that you will lose them. Remember~ you're enough, allow people the space and breathing room to come back your way if they choose. You're worthy of being chosen~ always. You may need to have a conversation though, in some cases the other person may not even realize it.
If someone is putting out the vibration of being a "over giver" they may attract a person that is an "over receiver" in some cases there may need to be a parting if there isn't a balancing out of both energies but no worries, as you balance out YOUR giving/receiving you will then attract a more complimentary friend/lover or improving the existing relationship. Do you and let them do their part for themselves.
Are you "one upping" people in compliments?
This means when someone gives you a compliment but you don't feel worthy of it and you 'go to TOWN' showering them with compliments of all the things you love about THEM! A simple "Thank You" is fine. Giving compliments are just that~a GIFT! You don't need to trade Babe. At least if you do give a compliment, don't over do it, keep it simple and from a place that you appreciate their kindness and worthy of what they say, saying "Thank you" from a place of whole hearted worthiness. Besides, over doing it can lead the other person thinking "Shit, guess I should have prepared a check list of my own of compliments for this person, so that my effort wasn't so obviously less impactful, as a come back" And THEN? Could lead to full combat in the compliment war unless one of you stops! lol
Remember this always~when worthiness starts to go down the drain,
EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE WILL START FOLLOW SUIT.(health, gifts, help, prosperity, joy, career, relationships ) It's going to be that way for the rest of your beautiful existence on earth. Better to get a grip on it now and keep the momentum going on a consistency.
Relax~ open up, breath, allow the good stuff in, whatever form it can get to you. The more you naturally feel worthy yourself the more you see it in all of life. Resulting in prosperity mindset, less comparing, more acceptance of others, more confidence, JOY, delightful surprises, LOVE, peace, forgiveness, ease, flow and so much more in a truly positive manner. It also sets a lovely example for others to witness and learn from too.
You're worth it~always.
"All I do is WIN" by Dj Khaled (mainly for the hook/chorus)
"Take my picture" by Filter (go to the youtube channel of Oceanic stars~the commentary is really great)
Colors! Yellow and Red ~yellow for empowerment and red for grounding and passion
With love and appreciation